The Fantasy Basketball team name game

Coming up with team names in fantasy basketball leagues is an exercise in stupidity. From lame puns (Cannot Faried), to self-deprecating (#PuntYear), to downright lewd (Spankwire), team names are the reason why fantasy owners absolutely cannot be real team owners.

Before the NBA season started, Slate.com listed down the most common fantasy basketball team names in leagues hosted by ESPN.com.

Aside from the obvious ones: Black Mamba, Fear the Beard, and King James (yawn), there were real gems such as James of Thrones and Better Call Gasol for the TV series junkies and Rose Before Hoes, Pippen Ain’t Easy, and Wake and Blake for the R-18 crowd.

 

Screengrab from Slate.com

Screengrab from Slate.com

 

Slate.com also listed down top fantasy names that reference a player from each NBA squad, which included Dirk Knight Rises and Noel Diggity.

 

Screengrab from Slate.com

Screengrab from Slate.com

 

Fantasy basketball is now on its fifth week, but that doesn’t mean you can’t change team names on the fly. Here are some suggestions:

Food: Duncan Donuts; Frosted Blakes; Swaggy P’s and Carrots

Haters: Bosh Spice; Cannot Faried; Queen James; Risky Rubio; Lala’s Honey Nut Cheerios; Dirk Nowinski

TV shows/movies: The Big Deng Theory; Zero Marc Thirty; Russel and Flow

Music: Duran Deron; Duran Durant; Chris Kaman Like A Wrecking Ball; Detlefard Schrempf; Lady Antetokounmpo; Bradley Beal Biv DeVoe

About the author

Jon Carlos Rodriguez

Jon Carlos Rodriguez is a New York Knicks fan, and a Barangay Ginebra resident. He tries to write like Ticzon and shoot 3s like Bukowski.

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