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10 Things LeBron Could Do (BUT Would Still Be Hated Anyway)

May 26, 2015
Just in case you’re living under a rock under the Pacific Ocean or still reeling from the finale of Forevermore, LeBron James went bat-shit crazy in Game 3 of the Eastern Conference Finals against the Atlanta Hawks. He finished with an NBA2K-ish 37-18-13 in 47 pulsating minutes. His 12th career playoff triple-double (it easily could’ve been his 13th—he was only a rebound shy in Game 2).

But aside from the numbers, what was astonishing about The King’s performance was his desire and mental toughness. It takes an entirely different level of focus to carry a team minus two of your best teammates aka Not Joe Harris and Not Brendan Haywood. Not to mention that it was a tight post-season game against a highly competitive and well-coached Hawks. It’s like Brian of the Backstreet Boys doing a huge concert without AJ and Nick Carter.

LBJ made a clutch three, a clutch off-the-glass runner, and did enough to disrupt Jeff Teague’s blitzing lay-up. To hell with hyperboles: HE WAS GREAT! He simply willed the Cavs to the W. His collapse at the end was a bit too dramatic, but who can blame him? He definitely deserved his moment.

But STILL, the hatred for ‘Bron will be as pervasive as Kendrick Perkins’ scowl. The excessive vitriol, the foaming-at-the-mouth anger, the lazy and overused “LeChoke” tag, etc. Most people still despise him for “The Decision” (or for being good friends with Kanye). Yes, it was ill-conceived, but he has accomplished so much since then. Hasn’t he proven himself enough? It’s been five years already, for Buddha’s sake! Gerald Anderson and Maja Salvador are already moving on, you should try too.

It’s utterly insane how some people still can’t appreciate LeBron’s once-in-a-generation talent. If you’re a true basketball fan, how can you not be amazed by what he does on the court? At least give him due respect. Unfortunately, as a friend said, even if LeBron finds cure for cancer, people will still hate him. It’s funny because it’s true.

Inspired by the clever comment, here are 10 more things LeBron could do BUT would still be abhorred by millions:

  1. End world hunger.
  2. Make a duet with Taylor Swift.
  3. Donate $100 million to Red Cross.
  4. Become the first person to land on Mars.
  5. Find Amelia Earheart.
  6. Destroy ISIS.
  7. Get canonized as a saint.
  8. Bring Princess Diana back to life.
  9. Make sure Paris Hilton doesn’t make another movie.
  10. Give the city of Cleveland its first major sports title since 1964.
Real recognize real

As the infallible, deeply philosophical argument goes: Haters gon hate!