Bye, KD: What OKC is saying about Durant’s exit

Just like that, the rich get richer. Or in this case, the golden, gets, um, what’s the word, golden-er? Golden State should change its moniker to Ultimate Warriors because the NBA’s bout to get gorilla press dropped. Okay, that was a bit lame. It sounded cooler before actually typing it.

By now, you all know that Kevin Durant just went to the Golden State Warriors. In case you’re still unaware, you have no business being here. Unless of course, you literally have a business being here and you want to sponsor us, so by all means.

Also by now, you’ve read, dissected, and dissed all the analyses and reports about the most galactic NBA free agent signing since LeBron James counted not one, not two, not three, not four, not five, not six, not seven in South Beach. Which by the way he accomplished since he only won two titles in Miami.

OKC fans are going through the five stages of grief right now:

1. Depression
2. Depression
3. Depression
4. Depression
5. Depression.

Dub Nation fans, on the other hand, are going through all sorts of stages of ejaculation. To paraphrase Jaws: they gonna need a bigger bandwagon.

Seriously though, you have to feel for OKC fans, especially since they only have one major sports team, a good one at that (no, the Oklahoma City Snipers of the National Squirrel-Hunting Association doesn’t count).

You also have to feel for the Thunder, obviously. They were just a few (okay, many) Klay Thompson Game 6 missed shots away from returning to the Last Dance this season, then all of a sudden, they’re a pedestrian team in the wildly competitive Western Conference. Sam Presti must be asking for the Orlando, FL area code right now, while staring at Serge Ibaka’s 2×2 photo on his wallet.

So to put the OK back in OKC, here are Top 10 Quotes from the Thunder, which may or may not be true (in the form of all-encompassing, greatly profound memes of course):

10. ENES KANTER

KANTER

 

9. ANDRE ROBERSON

ROBERSON

 

8. CAMERON PAYNE

PAYNE

 

7. STEVEN ADAMS

ADAMS

 

6.  COACH BILLY DONOVAN

DONOVAN

 

5. MITCH MCGARY

MCGARY

 

4. DION WAITERS

WAITERS

 

3. ERSAN ILYASOVA A.K.A. JAMES FRANCO

ILYASOVA

 

2. KYLE SINGLER

SINGLER

 

1. RUSSY

WESTBROOK

 

 

 

About the author

Paolo Mariano

Paolo Mariano works as a head writer and producer for the news department of a TV company. He also contributes for various magazines and websites, mostly about sports—okay, mostly about basketball. He graduated with a degree in Journalism at UST in the year 2000-something. He wore knee-high socks with his khaki shorts during elementary because he venerated Samboy Lim. If only he had grown a 70s pornstache back then as well.

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